Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Randomize
