so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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