You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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