he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Terrible idea I love it
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
