All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
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Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
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On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
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I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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