i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you mean i was at the winter classic?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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