i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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