if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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