Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize