I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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