can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize