Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
