he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
