p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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