No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
