I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
