that's what penises do
they tell lies.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Last time i carry you out of a forest
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
