He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
