I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
