At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
why does every cop we meet know your name?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
