The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
