:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
