Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
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Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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