My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
