Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
