I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Randomize
