Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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