Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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