i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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