please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
