I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
All I want is dick and wine.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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