oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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