Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
