one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
