Christians are straight up FREAKS
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
cat food counts as protein by the way
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
