I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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