like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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