do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
