would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
