He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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