your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My bed is full of blood and feathers
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize