wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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