Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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