btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
please come you make the beer taste better
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Randomize
