I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
