Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
