Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
