Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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