Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
