Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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