Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So squirting runs in the family.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
