take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We have started to decorate penises.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
