Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
