You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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