I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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