I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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