Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so let's talk penis.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
