So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
