u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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