Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
